According to the case, there were several reasons why Mr. Williams closed his music store. First, he offered only two kinds of music, hip-hop and rock, but the residents in the region were almost elders who didn’t like that kind of music. Second, the opening period of the shop was too short and people who were interested in hip-hop and rock music were mostly teenagers, but they were at school while the shop was opening. Third, the shop accepted credit cards only, but most of the students didn’t own credit cards but cash. These reasons led to the failure of this shop.
ㄟ~第三點
回覆刪除講義上是寫說不接受信用卡和支票
you are so good!
回覆刪除以上~
對阿 好像是說只接受現金吧?
回覆刪除﹡有些地方關代可以省略的，可根據前後用詞省略，會比較通順。
回覆刪除﹡語意上跟題目要求有些不符。
﹡大致上寫得不錯。
以上，淺見…
Second, the opening period of the shop...
回覆刪除不確定＂period＂可否用在這裡。
第二論點仍需修改。
如有誤，請不吝嗇指教。
是不允許信用卡喔!
回覆刪除其他沒了
只有信用卡的問題~~~
回覆刪除好像有點短耶 可以詳細一點
回覆刪除Third, the shop accepted credit cards only, but most of the students didn’t own credit cards but cash.這跟題目不符哦